For Those Knowing Love*, an Addendum to Love: Monogamy

*For a definition of love as used in below, see ThisIsOutrageouslyComplicatedDefinition

Love is “an intense feeling of mutual interest and compassion that develops after an initial attraction and with the emotionally maturity of each individual involved” (Brounce). It embraces intimacy, commitment, and passion in entirety - both physically and doctrinally. As defined in ThisIsOutrageouslyComplicatedDefinition, love cannot harbor infidelity or falseness. It cannot contain double lives or hurtful actions; the true definition of the word contradicts those actions. Love is the single veritable motivator towards a marriage to a single individual, often a tie committed in a holy audience or ordained by a religious authority and unbreakable for life. Not to say that divorce is a false act and should not be allowed - divorce is a tool to extricate persons from a love-less tie, because mistakes are made in excess. Marriage, in this sense, is also a singular noun. A marriage to more than a single person, polygamy, is an act against the previously mentioned holy audience, or any religious authority, against the individuals themselves, and against love. Love is the argument that demolishes polygamy and is the justification of its ban in modern civilizations.

Polygamy is the general practice of having more than one spouse at a given point in time. Literally, “many marriages”, it exists mainly in areas with small Christian and Jewish representation and although legally criminalized in very few states, the United States refuses to legally recognize polygamy as a valid, legal relationship (Polygamy). Marriage includes social, legal and religious components world-wide, some societies practice them in different ratios than others, but it mainly comes to the function of the man and woman within the society in question. Anciently, polygamy was a means of survival, as societies were based primarily on survival. By the 4th century AD however, Saint Augustine of the Christian Church spoke against it in his The Good of Marriage on the grounds that “not now necessity of begetting children, as there then was, when, even when wives bear children, it was allowed, in order to a more numerous posterity, to marry other wives in addition, which now is certainly not lawful” In the 6th century the Roman Emperor Justinian criminalized any marital relations that were not man/woman; this lawful code would be the influence for European law for thousands of years to come. In the modern world, indeed there is no survival need for multiple wives. Society has significantly evolved, and the generally conceded ‘immoral’ practice of polygamy is a symbol of the past. Typically, polygamy occurs in certain societies as a symbol of power and wealth, a signal that the husband has means to take care of so many wives and so many children. But even in these societies where it is morally acceptable and legally recognized to harbor so many wives, very few actually partake (Polygamy).

The morality of such societies now comes into question. Hinduism, geographically much of India, allows women to marry more than one man. The opposing religion of India, Muslim, Islam allows men to marry more than one woman (Polygamy). In either case, a look towards the universal concept of love. Love is an active cohesion of intimacy, commitment and passion. Intimacy and passion may be supplied, but the commitment towards more than one person is extremely questionable. Time and money become issues, as well as the undeniable truth that equality in such situations is sparse. Is it truly possible to commit to more than one person, and show each equal love? The definition of love itself presents two criteria that polygamy fails to measure against: commitment and emotional maturity. Such a symbol of power or wealth, as with all symbols of this kind, is a product of vanity, and vanity is a quality far from the idea of being mature. Vanity is a vice that people in all times speak against, in all times. These societies allow marriages with many people in agreement, however such agreements cannot be founded on love. It is a practice that encourages a collection, of sorts, of husbands and wives. Such cases do not foster love, they destroy it, and so the relationship cannot be a marriage. It falls from marriage to promiscuity, an action discouraged for obvious health and moral reasons.

Judaism and Christianity both discourage and do not allow polygamy, as the very word goes against a seven deadly sin: lust. In Catholicism, marriage is a sacrament. Polygamy in any of these religions would make the religion hypocritical, and thus invalid.

In Mormonism, plural marriage was once allowed but is no longer recognized. Polygamy was not included in the original doctrine, but Joseph Smith received a revelation on “celestial marriage” in 1843. The disassociation of this practice came in 1904 and caused splinter groups to break away from the religion in order to practice polygamy. Here, it is common for older men to take wives as young as 13 - an act illegal in many modern countries. Morality is again questioned threatened here, as many followers of this religion also commit welfare fraud, domestic violence, and child abuse (The Primer).

In any of the above cases where polygamy is practiced, the relationship trends lean towards either loveless or abusive. In a modern philosophy of “do unto others as you would like them to do to you”, how can societies recognize relationships that abuse the rights of those they lawfully can bring close to them? Polygamy is a feeding ground for envy and jealously which can lead to, as demonstrated by the Mormon religion, personal harm and unhappiness for people involved in the relationship, and for children that result from the relationship. The possibility of identity and psychological issues with children is also present - a child with one father and multiple mothers may face stress within and outside of the home, as issues such as fitting in or appropriate attention reception are a large part of children’s lives.

Lastly, love is a singular feeling. It distinguishes the human race as compassionate, empathetic, and emotional. The ability to sense and respond to emotions is a quality that everyone possesses, it is the ability to fully comprehend these emotions and not abuse them is a characteristic of modern societies. Marriage is no longer a crude tool to be used for survival, the family no longer needs to be large or numerous to survive. In fact, many modern societies are conducive to the small family. Having more than one husband or wife now is strictly a matter of vanity and hubris and does not lead to the caring, compassionate relationship that marriage has now become. Back to the definition of love, polygamy does not fit the criteria. So long as societies today continue to permit marriage to be a individual decision that does not rely on actual survival, love will always be a prerequisite, of sorts, to marriage and must always be present in order for the relationship to be valid.

Bibliography

Brounce, Maryjo. "Definition: Love." Epoche Wiki. 12 Feb. 2006. ThisIsOutrageouslyComplicatedDefinition .

"Polygamy." Wikipedia: The Free Encyclopedia. 13 Feb. 2006. <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polygamy>.

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